When was the last time you were invited and attended a hot party? By hot I don't mean "July no air conditioning hot" I`m talking about " if you're not here you're square hot". The type where everyone there feels like they are royalty. There are sometimes thrown at a swanky downtown club with a name whose hipness is based on the degree of non relevance that it has to the actual club atmosphere or location. Everyone at these dos has to look Fresh to Death like the dressed in a coffin. Having a drink in your hand is a mandatory, or better yet a bottle or two on ice in a bucket on a table surrounded by some overpriced furniture.
Or maybe its at a house. Not just any ones house, someone possibly in the entertainment business, or an athlete or just someone with a boatload of cash whose origin of wealth you may or may not know (usually the more mysterious the better). There is usually a pool involved a handful of extremely attractive and possibly sedated model types stumbling around. Sometimes its a sit down dinner thing that starts off with the "I want to tell you about how cool my job is by pretending like it sucks" conversation(s) and ends up with people almost whipping out their pay stubs after consuming to much wine and arguing about which Greek Isles hotel has the best seaside view. Either way there is a strong hint of doushebaggery in the air and valet parking. Point is its exclusive and everyone there feels like members of some secret society and if its your first time there you keep wondering as you're driving up to the house if you're going to walk into an "Eyes Wide Shut" situation.
The precursor to these types of parties is usually in high school. Its the "word of mouth parents are on vacation with the neighbours" type parties. There is alcohol there that you've never even heard of, you're pretty sure you shouldn't be in the master bedroom Jacuzzi with six other people, but you dare say anything because you are part of an exclusive group and criticism of any kind of the nights events means automatic dismissal from the unwritten guest list of these Hedonistic experiences.
Which brings me to what I like to call
Ivan`s Hot Party Dilemma.
You want to go to a hot party to be seen at the hottest party, thing is the only people who can see you at the hottest party are people who have also been and usually are invited to the hottest party and they are there with you anyway, again . To add to that the people you would want to see you at the hottest party cannot go to it because they are apparently not cool enough or too cheap to be there (ex girlfriends etc.) So there you are at the hot party, bored or most likely wasted because its open bar or because of the "drink the hand is a must thing" So you either stay in this Hipness neutralizing situation or you go home and ignore the nagging feeling that your are not maximizing your potential to be cool.
Don't get me wrong I`m not knocking this parties. As a matter of fact I actually kind of enjoy them. Nose thumbing, doushebaggery and all. If anything I feel like they help give me a sense of who I am by sometimes showing me examples of who I am not. They are however to be taken in doses. If you find yourself at one of these things every weekend, then its time to mix in a dive bar stat. And if you cant do that have friends over for the game and let loose. And if you don't know what I`m talking about then you're a loser and you need to get out more.... i`m kidding..not really.
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